The Story So Far

Has it really been that long?

Photo by Erik Müller on Unsplash

So…What’s New with You?

It’s been awhile since I posted, huh? Geez, May 16th? I feel the whole world has changed since then and yet nothing has happened. I hope you, reader, are doing well. Hopefully you and your family and friends are safe, well fed, and have a home to call their own.

Since it’s been so damn long since I’ve posted anything, I reckon it’s time I update you on what’s been on tap in my neck of the woods and what I have up my sleeve for 2022. (I don’t know why I slipped into old school cowboy talk…)

Family Life and New Job

Family has been well. Thankfully no one has been infected with Covid. And you know what? Masks work.

And vaccines work, too.

My wife started a new job at a high school that’s in the same district as our kids. Super helpful when it comes to scheduling family vacations around school breaks.

Other than trying to raise two rambunctious kids in an apartment during a pandemic while also losing my shit every day from pure exhaustion and disgust, I’d say we’re doing quite well.

Last time I posted I had started a new job at a new school. Like a beginnings, a new job comes with a period of adjustment and reorienting oneself to a new culture, new surroundings, new systems and routines. Happily, things are going well but the transition has been an expected challenge. With schools resuming in-person instruction during a public health emergency and pandemic, there were tons of challenges my colleagues and I had to navigate.

I’ll save the details for another time, but suffice it to say that it’s been an emotionally as well as mentally taxing fall semester.

House Hunting is a Nightmare

Can someone explain to me what the hell is going on with housing in Los Angeles?

Seriously. I’ve looked everywhere. I’ve Googled tons of shit and watched god knows how many videos on what’s going on but nothing makes sense.

Why do I need to spend $1 million to purchase a 1200 square foot fixer?

That’s how our home-buying search is going in a nutshell.

I hope you have a home to call your own, and by home I mean something with a mortgage, because if you don’t and are looking for one, it’s a bitch out there.

A few years ago my family and I had to move out of the home we were renting because the owners came under a financially difficult situation and needed to sell the home we were renting. Without much savings and two kids under the age 6, my wife and I had no idea what to do. We settled in an apartment that’s been okay at best, but with two rapidly growing boys the space and our patience has run out.

Throughout the pandemic we’ve been able to save a ton of money, at least we thought it was a ton.

Well, it was a ton three years ago.

We were able to get a good rate on a loan and all that pre-qualification hullabaloo and thought it would be easy to get a home.

No, no, no. We thought horribly wrong.

The only thing worse than living in a run-down apartment with two young kids is living in a run-down apartment with two young kids and getting outbid by 100k on every house you put in offer in.

To say it’s been rough is an understatement. I’m not sure exactly what our next steps will be, and I’m pretty sure there isn’t going to be any sort of housing crash anytime soon. We’ve temporarily halted looking at anything remotely in our budget because the chances of something going for well over asking is too high, literally and figuratively. (Not to mention whoever is buying said home must be high, too).

At this point, the only thing we got is hope, and even that feels a little light these days.

Weekend Writing and Kava

One routine that’s changed over the last few months is when I write.

At the start of 2021 until May, I wrote every day - blog post, some work on a script, brainstorming ideas for a new script.

By May I petered out, obviously.

But, over the last few months, as work and family life somewhat stabilized, my creative energy and clarity resurfaced. I needed an outlet to get the ideas in my head on the page.

My schedule is hectic - be at school by 7:30 am, come home by 5:00 pm, soccer practice till 6:00 pm or 6:30 pm, dinner, give my kids a bath and put them to bed by 8:30 pm. Most nights I fell asleep in my kids’ bed as I was putting them to sleep. I didn’t have a solid routine that I could lean into, make time for, and protect because of an ever increasingly busy calendar.

What changed is that I partnered up with a friend of mine, and he suggested I meet up with him on the weekends to write. We meet every Saturday or Sunday, during the day, at a kava bar and chat and write for a good 3 or 4 hours.

Every weekend. For the last few months.

My gosh has it made a world of difference. At the start of the year, my writing routine was desperation - desperate to write, desperate to “keep up” with some imaginary competitor. That period was followed by a period of hardly writing at all - work, kids, family, new jobs, looking for a house, and trying to have a semi-normal life during a pandemic. All of the above were great and gratifying, but my writing is what most often was left off the to-do list.

Weekend writing sessions give me a target, something I can aim at and direct my focus and energy for the week ahead.

In addition to having a solid target to aim for every week, I noticed that during the week I would be able to carve out more pockets of time to sit my ass in a chair and write.

Over the last month to six weeks, I’ve rebuilt my routine without any added pressure or desperation. I have a few short film outlines and scripts. I’ve got a new feature I’m working on. And, I’ve found more time to work on this blog.

I don’t know what 2022 will hold for my writing routine, but I will say that I haven’t felt this confident in what I want to write and what I need to do to get it done in a long time.

Shut Up and Make Stuff

I’m at the point in my dysfunctional creative career where I just don’t give a shit about seeking anyone’s permission to do something.

Everyone has an opinion about what’s good, what’s not, how something should be created, how something should not be created. The hardest lesson to learn about writing and creating is that no one, NO ONE, is going to give you permission to create something. And one step further, NO ONE gives a shit if you do or do not create something.

Creatives stand in their own spotlight and believe everyone is watching when in fact we’re performing to an empty house.

Sounds elementary, I know, and it’s a cliche we all tell ourselves. But what does it mean to actually live that maxim? What does it me to actually go out, full-spirited, and make something?

It means stop seeking permission from others and give yourself permission to do whatever the hell you want. It means the only person who should ever care about what you make is you.

The last few months I’ve spent experimenting shooting short films on my iPhone. I don’t have enough money to spend on a camera. I don’t have much access to the industry. I don’t have unlimited time at my disposal. But I’ve got an iPhone 12 Pro Max, a film editing app, and YouTube. Put those ingredients together and I have all the resources I need to start building a portfolio of shorts.

This leads me to 2022…

I want to learn more about independent filmmaking and hopefully write something that I can shoot myself (with a little help from my friends, of course). I don’t have a plan laid out. I have a few micro short film ideas and outlines. And I’m teaching myself camera angles, shots, and editing techniques.

No one will give me permission. No one cares if I do or don’t make my shorts. The only thing that matters is that I give myself permission to care.

To 2022 and Beyond (a la Buzz Lightyear)

I’ve missed this blog.

I’ve missed the relationship I built with it.

I’m recommitting myself to posting regularly - not daily, hell no. But, a few times a month I’m going to post updates on my works in progress and what I’m learning about storytelling and myself as a writer.

My goal is as it always will be: to be able to emotionally and financially support my family with my writing.

Change is hard. It will always be hard.

But the other side of change is where growth and happiness reside. I don’t expect 2022 to be any easier than the last few years, but I feel stronger, more confident in who I am and what I write.

I wish you well, and I hope 2022 is a healthy and bountiful new year for you and your family and friends.