It’s Been Awhile
Holy crap I didn’t think it was THAT long!
Holy mother of god is timing flying or what?
I swear I posted a review/preview blog post a few days ago, but it’s going on three weeks since my last post?
A ton has been going on in my life. A lot of exciting changes that I hope will bring me one step closer to my goal of becoming a full time writer. So, let’s get started.
Morning Pages
For the last few weeks I feel like I’ve been in a creative rut - trying to hard to pump out material, not “feeling” like I’ve got something interesting to say or write about, and just flat out not motivated to write.
And I’ve got plenty to work on!
That’s why I’ve turned to an old creative friend to help me excavate myself out of this rut - Julia Cameron. Specifically, her morning pages routine.
If you’re not familiar with morning pages, let me give a quick snapshot of what the practice is:
Grab a notebook or piece of paper (notebook is preferable).
Grab a pen or pencil - something that fits nice in your hand.
Open the notebook and write 3 pages of whatever the fuck comes into your mind. Literally, anything that pops in and wants to say “hi” you need to follow it.
Do this until 3 pages are filled then stop, close your notebook, and go on about your day.
I’m not going to talk about an scientific principles associated with this meditative exercise. Or even how the very act of just writing whatever comes to mind without the intention of having anyone else read it seems to free you up creatively. Nope. Not going to talk about that.
But what I am going to say is that I used to do that practice and it was magical. Unbelievably magical.
But I lost my way and now that I find myself in a creative rut I’ve turned to my favorite tool in my ever-limited toolbox: morning pages.
Most people write morning pages first thing in the morning - hence the title “morning pages”.
My approach is different in that I write my pages just before starting work on a script/bible/outline (whatever creative writing I’m doing). I sit my booty on the chair, open my notebook, bleed for a few minutes, then get to work on whatever it is I need to do.
For me, here’s what I found: writing morning pages turns off the inner critic - even if it’s just for a few minutes - and lets me just connect with whatever the story is and whatever the characters want to be.
I don’t think. I don’t judge. I just feel and listen.
Show Your Work
I don’t think I’ve posted about WHY I started this website. I know I’ve mentioned it in passing or at least implicitly.
For me, the purpose behind this website is to share my journey, my thoughts, my reflections, and my pieces of my work as I write and pursue a full time career as a writer.
My inspiration is a short book called SHOW YOUR WORK by Austin Kleon.
https://austinkleon.com/show-your-work/
In the book Kleon gives 10 reasons or principles for why someone should share their work.
For me it boils down to always identifying as a student, a perpetual learner.
Since my day job is working in education - which I love - I always position myself as someone who is trying to learn how to get better at something: at writing, at cooking, at playing baseball, etc.
And being a student means being an amateur.
On page 16, Kleon writes, “Amateurs lack the formal training, but they’re all lifelong learners, and they make a point of learning in the open, so that others can learn from their failures and successes.”
“Learning in the open.” That’s what this website is about: sharing my learning and my experience learning how to write screenplays and fiction with the hopes that my failures (too many to count) and successes (too few to count) will somehow inspire and motive you to just keep going and create whatever it is you feel your heart wants you to create.
Inspiration is really what we’re all looking for, right? To be inspired and to inspire others? That’s the point of art.
Fear
Let’s be real: fear seems to be a daily emotion and/or experience these days. In fact, too many to devote the appropriate amount of time to this website.
For me fear always boils down to being scared to accept the NOW and always concerned about the future.
Is this all there is to. my life?
Is this really who I am?
Am I doing what I really should be doing with my life?
I hope this works out.
I hope this is what gets me over the edge.
I mean, none of these questions (and many more like them) are not wrong. They are what they are. But when the thinking about fear and fear-related questions gets in the way of actually making something happen…well', that’s not a great position to be in.
Here’s a list of things, right now, that I’m fearful about:
What if my writing just isn’t good enough for me to making a living from it?
What if I never write this current pilot?
What if I’m stuck chasing money instead of dreams?
What if my wife and I never am able to purchase a home?
What if we don’t make enough money?
What if no one thinks my writing is good?
What if I have to give up on a dream that just won’t die?
And these are just a smidgen of the fears, anxieties, and worries that swirl around my head on a daily basis.
But the good news is that each of these can be corrected with just a shift in mindset.
What if my writing just isn’t good enough for me to making a living from it? What if it is?
What if I never write this current pilot? What if you do?
What if I’m stuck chasing money instead of dreams? What if you are?
What if my wife and I never am able to purchase a home? What if you never do?
What if we don’t make enough money? What if we will?
What if no one thinks my writing is good? What is someone thinks your writing is great?
What if I have to give up on a dream that just won’t die? What is you have to resuscitate it?
Sure, all of this sounds well and good, but let’s be real: it’s just words on a website.
In truth, I don’t have an answer or a quippy retort to my own questions and response.
All I know is that fear is either a great motivator or great obstacle. Either way, the journey - whatever the pursuit - is rooted in a fear that must be faced head-on. No shimmying aways. No blaming others.
Just sit down, be an amateur, get out all of the gunk that’s stuck in your unconscious, and share what you’re learning. That’s how fear turns into opportunity.
