This is the post I wanted to write last night, which would make it two consecutive posts, until a migraine knocked me out for the night.

I’ve been writing pretty hard lately. Every night I start at 8/8:30 pm and work until midnight/1:00 am, only to get up at 6:30 am with my kids. To say I’m exhausted is an understatement. To say that I’m pushing myself to the max is, well, right on point. Luckily, I’m in the brainstorming phase of my latest project, so I don’t feel pressure in making sure every word is perfect. In fact, when I’m actually writing I feel the most relaxed and at peace.

But there’s an undeniable dark side that comes with pushing myself to the limit. Lack of sleep, too much caffeine, horrible diet, and probably not a lot of exercise are all causing me to have migraine flare-ups. Specifically, cluster headaches.

Cluster Headaches

Cluster Headaches are similar to migraines in that they cause extreme pain and make it difficult to concentrate - at times even to think or talk. The differences, however, are striking:

• Cluster Headaches only occur on one-side of your face, and usually behind the eye.

• Because of the intense pain behind and around the eye, Cluster Headaches can cause light sensitivity and possible auras - similar to those who experience regular migraines.

• Your eye can excessively tear up and your face oftentimes gets a bit swollen and sensitive to touch during a Cluster Headache, which add to the discomfort of the pain you’re already feeling inside your body.

• Cluster Headaches can last 15 minutes to several hours. Mine usually last 3 to 4 hours and causes me to pass out from the from. A typically experience can completely waste away any nighttime plans I may have.

• Cluster Headaches happen at a regular time, every day. Oddly, if you get a Cluster Headache at 5:00 pm then for a period of several days or even weeks you will experience a Cluster Headache at the same time.

Treatment

The only thing that seems to work for me is to pop 2 Alleve, down a can of coke, throw an incredibly hot towel over my eyes, and lay down in a dark, quiet room until I pass out from the exhaustion of the pain.

I know there’s different medications sufferers of Cluster Headaches can take, including shots and inhalers, but I’ve only had one prescription for that stuff and I never refilled it.

So What’s Next?

I think this was my body’s way of telling me I have to slow down. Or, at the very least, find ways to de-stress and calm myself, releasing any tension or aggravation I may be holding onto.

My trouble as a writer is impatience. Sometimes I want a project done write away - probably because I can see the whole thing in my head. And I struggle, at times, with balancing reality with my expectations. The reality is that I’m a full-time, working parent who’s trying to figure out where my family is going to move. Whereas in my head I daydream about being a working writer who has the connections and free and flexibility to move wherever my family wants. (I’m also fully aware that being a writer is a long, tough road that may diverge from.)

My main priority is self-care. That’s what I need to focus on. That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop writing. That means I’m going to not push myself mentally and physically beyond the point of exhaustion. If I only get a sentence down and not an entire scene, then so be it. In the end I have to trust that the end product will be much better for it.